Elephant Riding

Chiang Mai is fairly spread out so we did hire a driver to take us to the various temple sites. We've found that throughout Southeast Asia every hired driver in town wants to bring you by tourist traps like the nearest Snake Farm or Silk Factory or Monkey Village and it is all you can do not to be roped into one. Most drivers have a well worn photo album tucked into the seatback containing pictures of all the tourist options, each one more trafficked than the next. Their strategy is understandable, the driver gets a cut of your spend at each of these sites and gets to take a nap in the car while you're visiting. Easy money.

We try to be travelers and not tourists, and under normal circumstances we wouldn't consider such a tourist spot, but we did buckle under to the pressure this time to visit an Elephant Camp. The camp bills itself as a refuge for elephants, a natural setting where they are protected from the dangers posed by modern society which has driven the Asian elephant population to near extinction. Truly a great mission, but I find it hard to believe that in 'The Wild' elephants play 2-on-2 soccer, throw a round of darts or gather in a circle for a harmonica jam session like they did in the prepared Elephant Show we witnessed, much to the delight of our fellow tourists.


Funny moment with Lizzie -- She cutely purchased two bunches of bananas thinking she'd be able to feed them one by one to the elephants. But the elephant had other ideas, snagging the entire bunch out of her hand and then moving in on the other bunch on the ground next to her. Its tough to reason with a hungry elephant!

The place was sort of a downer and I felt a bit bad for the talent, but then we got our chance to go on a 1-hour ride through the jungle and all was redeemed. At least that is how I felt after it was over and I was assured of our survival. 'Elephant ride' conjures images of childhood visits to Marine World/Africa USA where the carefully supervised elephant ride lasted 5 minutes around a circular and flat path with guardrails. Our elephant ride was more of an extreme sporting event, up and down steep muddy terrain along the ridge of a mountain. Lawyers and insurance premiums would never allow for such a ride in any civilized country. Hair raising most of the time, and downright scary at other moments.

We boarded the pachyderm atop an elevated platform, not unlike a gallows which concerned me at the outset. The guy working the platform took a look at my size and summoned their strongest elephant available. We named it Big Blue. It ambled over to the platform no doubt taking a look at me and wishing I had slept in that morning. But I could relate to Big Blue because being a big guy means a lot of people look at me to do the uncomfortable heavy lifting. As no English was spoken on the platform I had to pantomime that I am a huge person, point to the elephant and ask the internationally understood phrase "Ok?" The guy gave a thumbs up so we jumped onto a bench situated over the elephant's shoulders and buckled ourselves in for what would turn out to be a wild ride.

What kind of father perches his 1-year old daughter atop a 4-ton beast of burden as it lumbers up and down a muddy mountainside? In the States I'd have had child services waiting for me at the finish line, but this is Thailand. Assuring a our safety was the driver, a 100-pound Thai mahout siting right behind the elephant's ears and directing it verbally and occasionally giving it a jab with the business end of a small pick axe. Kind of like a bumpy airplane ride where you monitor your safety by the facial expressions of the cabin crew, I tried to read our mahout's comfort level at the moments where I felt our lives were in peril. He didn't seem to be concerned, so I felt mildly better. And at one point where the path was particularly treacherous, our elephant sidled up to a nearby tree and itched its rump against it, something I figured an elephant who was in fear of falling would not do.

I suppose I was overreacting because I was panicked while Lizzie seemed cool throughout and Ingrid just stared at the butterflies and tried to grab the elephant's ears as they flapped back toward her. They are both lucky that I didn't have to enact my contingency plan of throwing Ingrid off the elephant to the uphill side if the beast lost its footing and began to tumble down the mountainside.

When it was all said and done I had to concede that I'd had a mostly good time. One of those experiences that I enjoyed recollecting far more after it was over than while it was happening. I am sure Big Blue feels the same way.